My pitas page

monday, monday
i can't get too down about it being a monday just yet. i am not starting my new job until wednesday. i said i wanted a bull**** part-time gig while i am going to school, and I GOT IT!!! i don't know how long this will last, but i DO know that i will be 'making appointments' by phone, which means that dirty t-word...in a crossword puzzle it would be thirteen letters and the description would be "humiliating tedious task to annoy others" any guesses? (anyone even READING this?) oh well, i will give it a shot, the hours are good, and if i 'make appointments' i could make decent money. (i am still looking for work.) gotta get dressed. i have a physical at my new ucla doctor. might need a tetanus shot for my banged up finger and will hopefully also obtain a referral for a shrink...a chocolate croissant sounds lovely right now. i will have to stop by starbucks - i think they actually shove a chocolate bar in there sometimes. it's quite an experience...enjoy the day and f*** the dumb stuff.

when this old world starts gettin you...
the only place i know...where you just have to wish to make it so...up on a roof...i really believe in that song. it really holds true for me. i have a meeting with myself on that little roof and there i make my decisions. sorry dee, i haven't been making an entry on a daily basis. but i will try. i am off to school in a couple of minutes. hope today isn't too excruciating. i will be there from 8 until 445pm. but those hrs could be spent in much more miserable places than a learning institution, wouldn't one say? dee, listen to your sis about getting a degree...i TOTALLY agree with her. not that i think it is a necessity or a prerequisite, however, i do think that in your case the number one reason is not really the getting there per say, but the actual trip there. the experience, the education itself will be a truly enjoyable one and for you i think it will be a piece of cake. there will be lots of reading and writing, but for you that seems not to be work, more like play...so whatru waiting for?...pray for my brother today...

my mom is mr. white!!!
i had her take this quiz and this was the result...happy i have the show today and me and my old man are going out for fish today...lovely. as my worry of what's over the horizon increases, the enjoyment of the little things here and now increases too. pancakes do sound good...

I'M A BANANA?.....
who knew? i tried to be as honest as i could on the fruit test. who am i kidding? i know i would not take that wallet to the fuzz? i may be crazy but i'm not stupid. - i sound like crazy gideon. - so dee, you have the trouble of too many e-mails, too little time too? i am in the process of sifting through mine to see which ones i could actually use myself. 5 more days until UCLA. i know i will get the hang of things eventually, but now i am a bit anxious over it. i just keep trying to see myself through the quarter, over the horizon. i think san francisco is a GREAT idea. i was talking to an elderly woman the other day about it. she is a native san franciscan and she was telling me about the fog there. it's intense. and dee, you're going to love this: FOGHORNS. she told me one blew on the bridge, right under her car and popped something! the wind gets so intense that the foghorns go off. it's like a clark gable flick. the upside to living there - i am sure - far outweighs the downside, plus, you have steph and kayla there too! school wise, you can get far more for your dollar and you have great choices among the universities within range there. you could visit mom and bro often, it's a good place for dog, you could meet many interesting people of SUBSTANCE (and you're still on the W.coast, can you believe it?) i can't think of a good reason why you WOULDN'T move to SF. if i were not about to start at UCLA, and i could convince my old man, we'd be there too, believe me. i love that friggin town. DO IT!!!

what eve?
dee...maybe it is BECAUSE of x-mas that you're in a mood...? the pressure of having to be jolly can really piss people off at times, especially during yuletide. i don't mean to be a complete scrooge but your green and red entry was virtually impossible to read...? was it in x-mas code or what? i guess i am overloaded on this holiday. yesterday i got to do a couple of announcements. it felt so good to be back on the mike again. it had been at least 6 months. every third song chuck played was a carol. some of them were funny but in the end, i was again drowning in them. remember "mom and dad"...? well, that was kind of the feeling i had listening to those songs.i don't know if i am going to keep hanging out in PITAS. i don't feel that the correspondences are meant for my eyes. this is just a place that feels safe for me to express a bit, but i don't really know your group and i KNOW that what i write is not of the least bit of interest to ANYONE. i am just glad i had the opportunity to let off some steam.

weekend update
well,dee...i did the affliction test and guess what...I AM GONHERRIA!!!!!!!(or however you spell that awful disease) I am glad to know that it's curable, but over my morning coffee and danish, i did not enjoy reading the graphic sypmtoms...patew!!!!!i saw BABY BOY (3/4 of it) on cable last night and it was quite real and enjoyable. i was surprised. tyrese gybson is a real human being! what a pleasant surprise. and it was the first love story (of recent films) i enjoyed in years!) i totally expected a characature or an 'idea' of a guy living in the hood, but he was real and i highly recommend the flick. what is this garbage i hear about someone being NOTHING? remember that you are a superstar (and deep down you know it) so stop talking that bull**** (again, can we curse on PITAS?) you're talking into yourself. whatever the boy, son of an H, prince charming or whatever you wish to call him- whatever problems or baggage he may have - i am sure - already affects HIS life enough, why you gone let that n***a mess you up too? at least only allow YOUR baggage to get you down. you dig? i could be totally off in terms of what i am saying, but i am just speaking from a place of instinct (and a little experience) so if i'm wrong, what can i say? anyhoo, try to enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend and i'll do the same...j

well, friday, what do you have for me?
i tried. i really did. yesterday, after delivery of the treadmill, i offered to take my dad to p/u his teeth in santa monica. (don't ask.) i told myself to do the best i could NOT to say anything. (unless i could manage to agree with him.) well, the words just came out, and kept coming out. i found myself calling him manipulative and g-d only knows what else. i couldn't help it. it was like someone else was revealing my true feelings and i couldn't make them stop. needless to say, i think that irrepairable damage was done yesterday. i don't see any turning back and what can i do? i am NOT going to eat my words, apologize for them, question them or feel guilty for them. they came out for a REASON. as much effort as i put into muting them, they revealed themselves anyway--so obviously they were destined to be heard. the truth can be very ugly, but no matter how much you try to smooth it over, prolong it, sugar coat it, laminate it with bull**** (can we curse on PITAS?)- if it's to be heard, you bet your ***** it will be. i am going to spend the rest of this day on MY team. i will not argue with myself. i will not punish myself. i will not second guess myself. i am moving forward from here on in.

20DEC01010101010101
THE YEAR IS ALMOST UP!!!!!!!! BETTER CRAM ALL OF YOUR 01 BAGGAGE IN WHILE YOU CAN, CAUSE WHEN 02 COMES YOU NEED TO PUT IT BEHIND YOU AND FOGETABOUTIT! MY OLD MAN IS HAVING A TREADMILL DELIVERED HERE TO OUR CRIB---SHOULD I BE INSULTED? I CAN TAKE A HINT. BUT MAYBE IT WILL BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO SHED SOME EXTRA LBS. B-4 I START THE NEXT QUARTER. MAYBE I'LL BLEND IN BETTER WITH THE 90210 CREW...WHO KNOWS. OPE..GOTTA GO, THE GUYS ARE HERE WITH MY FAT GIFT!...L&K--ALA...

wednesday, wednesday
who in the green earth decided to throw in those extra letters in wednesday? what are we to do with the d and e, other than remember to include them in the spelling and then IGNORE THEM...? if i were to add up all of the time i have taken from my entire life JUST FOR WEDNESDAY, i would probably get very depressed. maybe i could have done something very constructive with that time. i could have trained for the olympics and possibly won a gold medal. or i could have learned how to tie a knot into a cherry stem with my tongue. i don't know. but i am sure that i could have really accomplished something with that wednesday time. don't mind me, i'm not awake yet. i'm just letting my coffee do the talking for me this a.m. by the way, g-d bless coffee. coffee is king and queen one and the same. coffee is the mountains and the seas all at once. coffee is love and marriage in its true essence. coffee is...obviously something that means a little too much to me. i am off to save more lives...until next time...love and kisses, ala.

TODAY!!!!!!!
good morning dee! good morning cini! hey to everyone else and i am looking forward to getting to know all of you. i am on vacation from school now officially and my old man and i are roadbound. i'm not sure where we're going yet, but we are to head out on the highway, maybe up north, maybe towards reno. i don't know, but i can't get easy- rider out of my head. i keep thinking that we're going to come across a reservation with someteen kids, some crazy chicks in a diner and then blow ourselves up on the road. (i kind of hope that the latter part of our trip doesn't actually happen.) i'm excited to be here! it feels good to finally be in pitas. i've heard so much about this place. it's kind of cold here though. no one told me i'd need a jacket. oh well, i'll be better prepared next time i visit. take care all, and keep on truckin...j